To Be Or Not To Be..That Is The Question..I Think

Today was seriously one of those days that I didn't feel like doing anything. I haven't blogged in ages and to be honest I forgot. lol Maybe that's why my days have been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Sometimes I really just want to scream. I feel like no one understands me, hell half the time I don't even understand me. What I wouldn't give for a time machine to just go back and correct the BIG mistakes that I've made, the little ones you learn and grow but the BIG ones still haunt me. Ugh. I am so scatter brained right now. So much that I want to say but I can't put it into words. I am just overwhelmed with emotion. Hopefully tomorrow I will get my bearings together and try to write something inspiring...probably not lol <----WOW..so everything I wrote made no real sense and was random...well that's me. :)

I Am Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired...

My life is spiraling out of control. I need to start making some very important moves so my life can be where it is. Right now I am listening to Unique-Write You A Song. That joint is beautiful, I have it on repeat right about now, and I hope the "dude" that I am talking to write now gets his act together because I am not feeling just waiting around for him to grow up. But anywho...I really need to get myself right. So I am making a confession that I am going to STOP SMOKING. <---Horrible habit to have and I need to end it. So I am making a promise that come Monday smoking will be out of my life and excersise will be taking its place. I am just fed up with settling. I dont want to settle I want to make moves so thats what I am going to do. Be on the lookout for me. Mucho Love.

[Insomnia]

It is now five something in the morning and here I am at my computer typing. Lately I have been on this kick where I cant sleep at night sometimes. Its a really sucky thing because I am up by myself left to deal with all the problems I push to the back of mind. [random] Brandy's new song "Right Here (Departed)" is my new favorite song. I am glad that Brandy is making a come back we need REAL talent in the industry these days [randomness ended] I am sitting here thinking of all my faults and flaws and it started making me a little sad so I decided to blog about it because I know if I dont I will sit there and let it fester inside of me until I am physically sick (that has happened before). I have these random fits of overwhelming depression and other times I dont. I think that im "clinically depressed" sometimes..I am aware of all my issues but sometimes I cant control them and let them pile on top of each other until I get sick and have these crying spells. This is probably a little too personal to be blogging about but oh well thats me. [Sigh] This isnt helping at all. I guess I can try and get some sleep...

Love+Like+Lust=Confusion

Maybe I should have established a title with my significant insignigicant other. I dont know where I stand with him or what is allowed in our "relationship" (for lack of a better word.) We call each other shorty..which in reality means nothing and I was fine with that at first until we became involved on another level. Feelings of attachment popped up and now here I am. I'm torn about the whole situation because at times I care..but other times I dont. He's away at college doing what he does and im here in school doing what I do. He's made it halfway clear that he wants me to just wait for him until he gets back, but then its like because there is no title, label whatever I cant possibly restrict him. I know boys will be boys so I cant tell him what not to do ya know. When he comes back for Thanksgiving Break I doubt I am going to want him to touch me let alone be with me because I can picture him running up in a million other girls. This could be a really simple situation that I am probably making difficult. I want him to care enough about me but a big part of me says he doesnt and I'm okay with that sometimes until that girly part of me comes out and starts complaining about the arrangement. Im at a loss here. I dont know what to do, I cant talk to him about it because it just feels weird and out of place for my concerns to be there. Hell actually its pretty much a sex thing when we talk anyway..I should end it here but its that darn attachment factor. I really wish the brain outweighed the heart because I hate wearing that crap on my sleeve. Hopefully with this month apart I can will myself not to think, text, call or aim him. [Sigh] I guess I have to suck it up and deal with it right.

Introduction

Mina-San Konichiwa,

My name is Chante' and I am new to this whole blogging lifestlye. My blogs will consist of mainly everyday life, fashion, cartoons, college life, cosmetics etc. My blog is approprietly themed iTokyo because oneday I hope to live there. So I hope you all enjoy my blogs and random posts.
Sayonara ^_^